I don't know anything about baseball. For years now I've been trying to get into it. I played CYL (Catholic Youth League) ball when I was in elementary / middle school, but this was at a time when my interest levels in sports and doing lots of math homework were roughly equal (late bloomer!). Funny thing, though, how my native arrogance compels me to wax profound on just about every subject under the sun.
–But to the point! Major League Baseball needs Tim Lincecum. Right now I am watching Timmy give up run after run to the Dodgers. It's the top of the fourth. A good start, but he's currently fucking it. Yet I'll maintain my point. The league needs this floppy-haired, toothy-grinned assassin out of Bellevue, Washington. It's like watching fucking Ichabod Crane out there.
According to this Harris Interactive Poll, professional baseball has seen a 6% drop in national interest since 1985. That might not seem like much, but let's notice that in 2003 only 13% of American's wanted to tell Harris Interactive that their favorite sport was that one game with the fat guys and the steroids. The most recent survey is based on data from about 2,300 participants. The data also suggests that different demographics prefer different sports. African Americans, for instance, don't seem to prefer baseball (only 6% listed it as their "favorite"), while Hispanics do (20%). We could postulate that this particular statistic is reflective of a mass of Hispanic / Hispanic-American stars (A-Rod, Hanley Ramirez, Mariano Rivera, Felix Hernandez). But I'm not a scientist so I try to stay away from that "postulating" shit as much as possible.
Baseball used to be America's national pastime, not so today. For all its soapy, money-grubbing melodrama, the NFL is now, quite simply, our jam (24% of Americans called it #1 in 1985, compared with 35% in 2009).
So, the MLB needs Tim Lincecum. Here's why: the nickname "Freak" is something of a misnomer. Lincecum is an athlete for the times. Humbled in the wake of periodic juicin' scandals, the MLB needs a regular-looking dude to carry it back to glory in this young century. He's like Detroit after the automotive industry went all Supermassive Black Hole. I'm not saying I particularly care if this happens (the redemption, etc.) – since I'm really only taking an interest in baseball because my two favorite sports are looking at lock-outs in the fall – but I do believe that the MLB needs to get right with sports fans nationwide. Lincecum is the key. He's not a freak. He's just talented. He's got flaws - he seems inconsistent, aloof. Yet the empty-headed, inarticulate braggadocio of your Barry Bonds's, Sammy Sosa's, and Mark Maguire's have tainted major league baseball. Correct me if I'm wrong.
The MLB needs Tim Lincecum to bring it back to earth, to make it matter once more. Manny talking on his cell phone up in the Big Green Monster just won't cut it (what am I talking about, that was hilarious!). The national pastime is still reeling from colossal embarrassment. America's in a tailspin. They're sending manufacturing jobs overseas; we're paying too much for gas; our politicians are, to quote Elbow, "just little boys throwing stones." If we want to bestow the mantle "national pastime" we're going to have to get back to some sense of national pride. This, I shall finally admit, is far too big an issue for some dude with a blog to really address properly.
So, this is me, a non-fan looking to become a mild-to-moderate fan, asking all the people not paying attention and all the people who are out of their minds in love with baseball to watch a Giants game when Timmy pitches. He just hit a sacrifice bunt - bottom of the fifth, 1 out, game tied 3-3. "The Freak" set up Frisco's last run. Watch Timmy. He looks like Tommy from 3rd Rock From The Sun. I feel like I could have a beer with this guy, and – shit – people vote in presidents based on this criteria.
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